Common English Phrases that are Best to Avoid

A typical vice of politics is the avoidance of saying anything real on real issues ..Theodore Roosevelt

Here are some common English phrases to avoid

• No offense, but…

This phrase almost always precedes something offensive. It doesn't soften the blow, it signals you're about to be rude or critical. Alternative: Say what you mean respectfully and directly without disclaimers.

• It is what it is

This phrase is vague and dismissive. It can shut down conversation and make you sound passive or uninterested in solving a problem. Alternative: Try something like, We can’t change that, so let’s focus on what we can control.

• With all due respect…

This often signals disagreement or disrespect, even though it sounds polite. Alternative: Be direct and respectful without a lead-in that sounds condescending, for example, I see it differently because…

• I’m not racist, but… (or any variation like I’m not sexist, but…)

This is a red flag phrase. It usually precedes a statement that is biased or offensive. It doesn't excuse the following comment. Alternative: Examine the comment you're about to make. If it requires a disclaimer like this, consider not saying it.

• Just saying

This is often used to criticize or insult and then try to avoid accountability. Alternative: Own your opinions. If you have something to say, stand by it or phrase it constructively.

Calm down / Relax

This can be patronizing and inflammatory, especially when someone is upset. It often makes things worse. Alternative: Try validating feelings: I see you're upset, do you want to talk about it?

• That’s just the way I am

This sounds like an excuse to avoid growth or change, and can come off as stubborn. Alternative: Try, This is something I struggle with, but I’m working on it.

• I don’t mean to be rude, but…

Like no offense, this phrase often precedes a rude comment and doesn't excuse it. Alternative: Be clear and kind. If it might come across wrong, say something like, I hope this doesn’t come across the wrong way…

• At least… (in response to someone’s hardship)

This phrase often minimizes someone’s pain and feel invalidating. Example: At least you still have your job after someone’s been through a loss. Alternative: Say, I’m really sorry you're going through this. Let the person guide the positivity if they’re ready.

• Everything happens for a reason

While it may be well-intentioned, it sounds dismissive of someone’s pain or loss. Alternative: A more compassionate response is, I’m here for you, or That must be incredibly difficult.

The English language is full of common phrases that are often misused or can come across as rude, vague, or dismissive. If you want to speak good, clear, and respectful English, it's important to be mindful of how you use these expressions, or avoid them altogether.

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