‘It Depends’ Isn’t the Smart Answer You Think It Is

David Fisher
Oct 16
2 min read

It all depends on how we look at things, and not how they are in themselves ... Carl Jung

You know that moment when someone asks you a question like Should I start with this plan? and you, in your infinite wisdom, say Hmm… it depends. And suddenly the vibe in the room drops like bad Wi-Fi. You meant to sound thoughtful and nuanced, but somehow it came out as vague and mildly annoying. Let’s talk about why that happens, and what to say instead.

It depends sounds like I can’t be bothered

Most people ask questions because they want help, clarity, or at least something to hold onto. When you hit them with a plain it depends, it can sound like the conversational equivalent of a shrug. It’s like saying Eh, life’s complicated. Figure it out. Even if you’re trying to be honest, it can come off as dismissive, especially if you don’t follow it with what it depends on.

Sometimes it depends means I don’t actually know

Let’s be real. We all use it depends as a polite cover when we’re not 100% sure. It’s a neat little escape hatch that sounds smart but says nothing. If someone asks, Is that strategy effective? and you say It depends, what they often hear is, I have no idea, but I’m stalling. The trick is to recognize when you’re using it as a smokescreen, and either own up to not knowing or take a second to think it through.

Imagine asking your doctor, Is this treatment effective? and he answers It depends. Depends on what? My mood? The weather? Mercury in retrograde? People don’t mind that things are complicated, they just want to understand how. When you leave it at it depends, you’re giving them a cliffhanger instead of closure.

The funny thing is, It depends can actually be a great answer, if you unpack it. For example: It depends on your goals. If you’re aiming for X, do Y. But if you’re focused on Z, try A instead. Now you sound thoughtful instead of evasive, and the other person walks away thinking, Wow, they really know their stuff, instead of, Cool, thanks for nothing.

So what should you say instead?